A Rose by Any Other Name?
My friend, let's call her Lila, has been dipping her shell-pink pedicured toe in the murky waters of online dating. She hopes to find a nice guy. A happy guy. Someone who is fun to be around.
We all know dating isn't easy.
It can be frustrating.
It can range from fun to boring to just plain weird to some guy who thinks he's Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Killers.
So, "Lila" talks to this guy via e mail a few times. Let's call him "Ralph." They Instant Message back and forth.
Yada, yada, yada, you knowthe drill.
So. Ralph tells her he's 6'2", muscular, loves women with meat on their bones, lives in her area, and did she want a pic of him?
My friend says "why sure," and begins sorting her pictures of Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, and Jane Fonda in Barbarella to find the appropriate one of herself to reciprocate.
This is the picture Ralph sent her.
I don't think he looks 6'2," do you?
We all know dating isn't easy.
It can be frustrating.
It can range from fun to boring to just plain weird to some guy who thinks he's Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Killers.
So, "Lila" talks to this guy via e mail a few times. Let's call him "Ralph." They Instant Message back and forth.
Yada, yada, yada, you knowthe drill.
So. Ralph tells her he's 6'2", muscular, loves women with meat on their bones, lives in her area, and did she want a pic of him?
My friend says "why sure," and begins sorting her pictures of Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, and Jane Fonda in Barbarella to find the appropriate one of herself to reciprocate.
This is the picture Ralph sent her.
I don't think he looks 6'2," do you?
posted by Susan Goodwill at 5:38 AM
5 Comments:
Tell Lila to have a stiff upper lip and laugh off Ralph. Casting the net wide into a sea of opportunities is bound to ensnare a bunch of toadfish. At least she didn't have to meet this individual in person.
Met my wife through the newspaper ads 17 years ago (pre-Internet dating days). Today, 10/19, is our fifteenth wedding anniversary. Good things can happen.
-rick
The only rule: writers write! Everything else is a guideline.
Well, uhm. He probably hasn't committed a felony? (I actually hooked up with one online... if I'd only asked my parole officer friend, "do you know...").
Rick--Congratulations on your aniversary. It's good to know happy stories come about.
Mab--Yep. I know...
On the bright side-
This guy did offer to serve as a maid at any all girl parties my friend might throw. He already had the uniform.
Until you experience them firsthand in one form or another, it's very easy to remain ignorant of the diverse subcultures that occur around us continuously. This was a learning experience to say the least. If anyone out there would like a new 'girlfriend' who would appreciate tips on hair & makeup, I've got his (her) e-mail address for you. - - oh, and, maybe that was 6'2" - - in stilettos.
You just never know. I remember a friend whose brother, the plumber, asked her to meet him at Burger King. He had something important to tell her.
She walked in, and there was her brother in a strapless chiffon gown.
Hairiest back she ever saw.
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